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Dear Coach Q&A

Ask your relation- ship question. go there

Q&A1 Recovering from rejection, talking about the future.  go there

Q&A2 Ending a relation- ship, to marry or not, is it friendship or what, getting over cheating, etc. go there

Q&A3 Changing his feelings, stopping ex from being rude, proving mom wrong, etc. go there

Q&A4 Breaking relation- ship addiction, the single epidemic, how big is that age gap. go there

Q&A5 Should I see the light, forgiving infidelity, dealing with her problems. go there

Q&A6 Looking for a decent man, second chances, mass dating, love addiction. go there

Q&A7 Emotional affair, he's still attached, a loaded man, e-dating, love addiction. go there

Q&A8 How to handle a possessive partner, pursuing a friend's girlfriend, intimacy & anger, relationships and personal space, online dating tips. go there



Dear Coach Q&A #6


Q. Please help me. I'm a divorced mother of three in my late 30's longing for a loving relationship. Most of the men I meet want to have more than one women or they only want sex. I'm looking for a decent man to come share my life and I really need you to help me. I would like to remarry someday. What am I doing wrong? Thanks, Mel
A. Dear Mel, do you believe there are good, decent single guys out there, who want a loving relationship and not just sex? If you do believe they are out there, where would they be spending time in your town? Figure that out and then go spend time there as well.
Q. There is a special someone I met over a year ago at church. It took me 10 months to get up the courage to ask her to go out with me. We had an acquaintance relationship at church before this. Well we went to the movies on our first date. After I sent her a card telling her how I felt about her. I had these feelings building up for almost a year and I poured them out in a card and letter. Intellectually, I knew that this was the wrong thing to do, but impulsively I went with my heart and as a result I scared the hell out of her. Needlessly to say, I have not gotten a second date and she doesn't want to have any kind of relationship with me. I still like and care about this woman very much. Is there anyway to turn a relationship around and get a second chance when a person really blows it such as I did? How can I gain her trust?  Thanks, Robin
A. Dear Robin, there may be a way of turning the relationship around by turning into friendship. However, it would have to be a true friendship, without ulterior motives. And that means, you would have to give up on the idea that the two of you will end up in a relationship. I am not saying you won't end up in a relationship one day, but I am saying you would have to completely give up the idea and let the relationship go where ever it goes.
Q. Hi, I read your article on "mass dating" on the It was a very good article, you laid out some very good lessons on dating a lot of people. But you really didn't say what you meant by "mass dating". Is it some specific kind of dating service or something else? I'm a 21/m in Buffalo,NY. I'm having a really hard time meeting people, not just potential dates but anybody - I feel lost. I would appreciate any advice. Again, your article was great, keep it up! Thanks, Tilak
A. Dear Tilak, re the mass dating article, mass dating was my catch all phrase for all types of dating where you are exposing yourself to more than one potential partner at a time. In other words, dating services, singles ads, Internet ads, etc.
Re feeling lost and lonely, sounds like you need to start with building a community of friends. You can start small by going and doing with a group your favorite activity. Even if you don't connect with people right away, over time you will make friends. Good luck to you.
Q. I got an excerpt "what men want from women" from this male I'm so mad at. He aggressively pursued me and romanced me. I decided to allow myself to go nuts over him, while knowing he was not at all good for me. In fact, I made him out in my mind to be much better in many ways that he really is. Now I am having trouble getting this conjured up figment out of my head. I see him rarely which is a disadvantage because I feel if I saw him regularly, reality checks would be in my favor. Help me. I'm ready to give up. Winterwoman
A. Dear Winterwoman, sounds like you have the classic case of love addiction. Love addiction, like any addiction is not about the substance but about the addict. This is not about him, but about you. There is no easy answer, but a very simple one - the only way to stop an addiction is to stop the behavior. Stop the relationship and move on. Good luck.



Relationship Coaching Services

Rinatta Paries, Relationship Coach, Master Certified Coach

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