Relationship Coach Newsletter #179, 1/21/05 Service of WhatItTakes.com & Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries Welcome to this week’s issue, sent at your request!   In this issue: 1. News, Your Feedback, Your Subscription, Article Synopsis 2. Help for Your Love Life: Powerful eClass & PLUS Membership 3. Article for Singles, People in Relationships & Marriages:    Are you two compatible enough for your love to last? 1. News, Your Feedback, Your Subscription, Article Synopsis News One of the exiting things I promised last week is the 1-year PLUS membership in WhatItTakes.com classes. Take a look at it in section 2 below. The other thing, a very exiting development for the singles in our community, is coming very soon. Watch your email! Your Feedback A customer just wrote in about the Whom Are You Dating eClass she purchased from the Singles Help Center at WhatItTakes.com "I very much enjoyed the lessons...You put a lot into this and are very clear and insightful on the subject." ~ Carolyn Your Subscription SUBSCRIBE: visit http://www.WhatItTakes.com/Archive UNSUBSCRIBE: CHANGE INFO: Article Synopsis One article today, applying to all stages of singlehood and relationships: What are the important things a couple should be compatible on in a relationship in order to stay happy for a lifetime of love? The answer is not at all what you think! 2. Help for Your Love Life: Powerful eClass & PLUS Membership This week's article is from the Whom Are You Dating eClass, originally written for people on the first few dates, to help learn quickly about the people they are dating. But as I am now finishing up writing this eclass, I see it provides essential information for people in all stages of  love - from first date to marriage and everyone in between. So many people are in relationships with partners about whom they are in the dark, and so many people have no idea how to make their relationships work out. The Whom Are You dating eclass will teach you both: How to get to know your partner and how to figure out what you need in your relationship. This can improve or even save your relationship. Go read more about this eclass and seriously consider enrolling. Or save money and get a WhatItTakes.com 1-year PLUS class membership. Instead of just getting one eclass, get immediate access to all current eClasses and all upcoming classes for one full year from the date of your registration. $310 or more worth of real resources guaranteed for a year for $100. Couples can join for $150 and friends and family can join for $175 for any two people. Get more information, answers to questions, and join by going to the PLUS membership page. 3. Article for Singles, People in Relationships & Marriages Are you two compatible enough for your love to last? You need to know - This article comes from the Whom Are You Dating eClass. Read more about why you should get this eClass, no matter what stage your relationship is in, in section 2 above. Most people think that sharing the same religious background, having comparable intelligence and ambitions, being involved in the same sort of social life, and having the same financial goals and personal values are the most important things in a relationship. These are criteria by which you choose new partners, or, if you are already in a relationship, these are the criteria by which you choose whether to get deeper into commitment, right? And aren't these the criteria by which you can tell if you are in a happy relationship or marriage? Aren't dissimilarities in these areas what cause people to be miserable in long-term relationships? Consider this. You may go to the same place of worship; both be smart about the same things; have a great way with entertaining; earn, save or spend the same way; and both believe in fidelity and the value of family. And yet, at the same time, you can both be completely miserable with each other, unhappy in your relationship. This is because what really matters in a relationship, what really makes people happy or miserable, is none of these things. The key compatibilities that matter in a relationship are similar intimacy style, similar desire and availability to be in a relationship, and desire for a similar depth of connection. Intimacy style is a set of internal rules of conduct by which a person functions regarding emotional and physical closeness and communication. Note that you can't tell someone's intimacy style for about the first three months of the relationship, unless you know just how to look. Ability to be in a relationship is the ability, desire and know-how to sustain a relationship. It may seem natural and intuitive, even innate, but it is not. It requires emotional relationship-centered maturity, and that only comes with emotional growth. Being available for a relationship includes the desire or an aversion to closeness, in terms of time, geography, physical contact, and emotional engagement. Desire for the depth of connection, really intimacy, or lack of it, both physical and emotional is not a given, even if a person is dating to find a relationship, is in a long-term relationship, is married, or even has a family. If you are in a relationship you value and the two of you are not compatible on these three criteria, you both need to focus on growing yourselves. If you are compatible with a partner you are drawn and attracted to on these three key compatibility criteria, you have a good chance to be happily in love with each other for a lifetime, almost regardless of whether you are compatible in other areas.   Love always! Coach Rinatta Paries Coach@WhatItTakes.com Love Education & Coaching Services at  www.WhatItTakes.com Real Help for Singles, Dating, in Relationship, Engaged & Married People! ___________________________________________________ Copyright WhatItTakes.com 1998-2005. All rights reserved. Please forward this newsletter, but it MUST be whole and intact. To use our articles in your publication or website, contact Coach Rinatta Paries for permission.